My husband Rob, the Student Ministries Pastor at Four Oaks Community Church here in Tallahassee, closed Mom's memorial service with these words, followed by a prayer. Rob and I have been together for over 20 years, so she really was a second mother to him. In fact, a friend of mine said very well that "...If you were friends with one of Janet's kids, then it was like you were one of her kids." Even more so with her sons-in-law...
As we close this time of remembrance and celebration of new life, I think it is important that we leave here with an exhortation in mind of how it is we are to continue on with each of our lives.
The exhortation for us is simple and dare I say obvious...and that is for us to always "Remember Janet". It's not that I'm concerned that we will forget her, it's just that I want us to actively and purposefully live our lives remembering her.
For each of us here, "Remembering Janet" will play out in different ways. The way it will play out for me, is not just by "Remembering Janet", but by "Remembering Mom", because by all accounts she will always be my second mother.
An example of what I mean is the fact that Mom was not one to sit around for any given period longer than 5 seconds. As much as I loved when Mom and Dad would visit my home, there was always an underlying sense of anxiety I would endure due to the fact that I knew I would not be "sitting around" for any length of time during their visit. By the time Mom and Dad left, there was always some sort of "Mom-inspired" house project that had been completed, usually by me. And even though I was somewhat relieved when Mom and Dad left, my desire was always for them to return soon. Because with Mom around, there was always the motivation and inspiration of staying productive and finding ways to make old things new, even if it was to simply rearrange the furniture in a room.
I use the word inspiring because that's what Janet is for all of us. When I think of her life and the way it intersected all of the lives here today, I'm reminded of the verse found in Philippians 1:21 - For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. These few words of the Apostle Paul, define every part of his being and purpose. His life was truly a win-win. Either he lives out his earthly life by serving Christ, or he goes on to the heavenly realm to rejoice in the full presence of Christ, free from the trials and afflictions of this fallen world.
That to me, is who Janet was and the purpose she lived.
The way she lived her life to serve and live Christ was by sacrificially serving others. Her entire life was a sacrifice of her own dreams and desires, because she lived her life to better the lives of everyone else, and all done with such a grace, beauty, and dignity that only Janet could bring.
Janet found her true gain on August 31st, 2011. Her gain was her found freedom from the suffering she endured for so long. Her gain was at last the full presence of Christ, and hearing the words "Well done, good and faithful servant; enter into the presence of your Lord."
All of us have are own memories and will find our own way to heal from our grief, but I encourage you to find that way by "Remembering Janet", living your life to serve others and knowing that she is finally home.
The Metzgers...
December 2010 in Miami
Saturday, September 10, 2011
From Aunt Carol...
Aunt Carol Alger is the 5th Poulos kid, and the comedian of the family. It's hard to capture what she said without her voice filled with both humor and sadness, but you'll get the idea....
I started thinking about the past with my sister, but not the last two years because its been too sad. I usually can find humor in anything, but not in ALS.
My sister catered in Miami with her friend Mafie. They catered for people like Glorida Estfan and Jeb Bush. Jeb love her spinach pie, one of her signature dishes. Another one of her signature dishes was telling me what to do! So she made me join them on their catering adventures. One New Years's Eve night, the girls booked two parties. They dropped me off at the first one and said, "Here is all the food and wine, we will see you later!" I cannot believe they did that! She told me to take all the dishes home with me and wash them. So I made it through the night and went home and put all of Mafie's crystal wine glasses in the dishwasher and went to bed. In the morning when I went to put them back in the boxes all the stems were broken. I called Janet she told me I should have hand washed them! We laughed and I gave them back to Mafie without telling her...sorry Mafie!
It was never easy for Janet to be the oldest of seven, always trying to keep us in line. It was a difficult job and we never made it easy on her. But we always did what she said, even if we did not want to. Janet and I talked a lot this last year, mainly about our faith in God and that we wanted to see a miracle. She said either God will heal me or take me home with Him. We both had a new walk with Jesus that would change our lives forever.
Casey texted me at work on Wednesday and said, "Hurry, come! Mom is dying." I will never forget that moment. I made it right before she went home. Told her to say high to mom and dad, and that she would be with Jesus. That night I had a dream that she was talking and moving like she had never had that horrible disease. I said to her, "Janet ,you are all better!" I have learned this year that God does answer prayers but, they always look different on how I would envision them to look. We both learned to stop asking why, why! Janet wanted everyone to no how strong her faith was.
I love you, you will be missed forever. Carol
I started thinking about the past with my sister, but not the last two years because its been too sad. I usually can find humor in anything, but not in ALS.
My sister catered in Miami with her friend Mafie. They catered for people like Glorida Estfan and Jeb Bush. Jeb love her spinach pie, one of her signature dishes. Another one of her signature dishes was telling me what to do! So she made me join them on their catering adventures. One New Years's Eve night, the girls booked two parties. They dropped me off at the first one and said, "Here is all the food and wine, we will see you later!" I cannot believe they did that! She told me to take all the dishes home with me and wash them. So I made it through the night and went home and put all of Mafie's crystal wine glasses in the dishwasher and went to bed. In the morning when I went to put them back in the boxes all the stems were broken. I called Janet she told me I should have hand washed them! We laughed and I gave them back to Mafie without telling her...sorry Mafie!
It was never easy for Janet to be the oldest of seven, always trying to keep us in line. It was a difficult job and we never made it easy on her. But we always did what she said, even if we did not want to. Janet and I talked a lot this last year, mainly about our faith in God and that we wanted to see a miracle. She said either God will heal me or take me home with Him. We both had a new walk with Jesus that would change our lives forever.
Casey texted me at work on Wednesday and said, "Hurry, come! Mom is dying." I will never forget that moment. I made it right before she went home. Told her to say high to mom and dad, and that she would be with Jesus. That night I had a dream that she was talking and moving like she had never had that horrible disease. I said to her, "Janet ,you are all better!" I have learned this year that God does answer prayers but, they always look different on how I would envision them to look. We both learned to stop asking why, why! Janet wanted everyone to no how strong her faith was.
I love you, you will be missed forever. Carol
Friday, September 9, 2011
An Excellent Wife...
Our brother Brian Rhatigan, Jamie's husband, read Proverbs 31:10-31 at Mom's memorial service last Saturday. I remember that Mom had suggested that it be read for her Aunt Jackie Hammell and my "Memaw" Mary Metzger at services for them when they passed away. As fitting as it was to honor those two great ladies with a reading of it, it was equally fitting to be read for my mother, who was indeed an excellent wife. Brian read it from Mom's own well-worn Bible, and I've copied it here in the English Standard Version, just like Mom's.
Proverbs 31:10-31
An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
"Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
From Uncle Dave Poulos...
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| The seven Poulos kids, taken at Grandma's funeral in Miami, January 2011... Left to right: Joanne, Carol, Jeff, Janet, Jim, Laurie and David |
Uncle Dave, better known as U.D. to us kids, is the youngest boy of the Poulos kids and second from the bottom. Though he's one of the youngest, he has emerged in recent years as the patriarch of the Poulos clan. He visited Mom for her birthday, just two weeks before her death, and I know it meant so much to her that he did. Here are his words from her funeral:
My Sister Janet
To everyone who knew my sister, she will always be known for her incredible hospitality as well as her amazing meals. Janet lived to serve and set an example for all of us. I believe the most frustrating aspect of this disease for her was that she couldn’t do for others, which was very difficult for her. Now others had to serve and care for her in ways they never would have imagined. My hats off to Paul who never left her side as well as her sisters and her four children who made frequent trips to assist.
Finally, I just want to encourage Paul, Shannon, Casey, Jamie, and Paul to always be grateful for the 60 years that God loaned her to us. He chose this week while walking in His garden to pick this particular flower for himself. Janet has been promoted by the Grace of God and I am grateful for that. Love you Jan!
From Aunt Laurie...
Aunt Laurie Martin is the youngest of the seven Poulos kids, and lives in Boone near Mom and Dad...
I'm Laurie, the baby of the family. Janet was the oldest of the us 7. She always doted that she raised me. Well...she kinda did. In pictures I was always on her lap or in her arms. My mom shipped me off every summer to her. At about 13 I remember one summer crying to her (I always thought I had such older parents), I asked her, "Where will I live if something happens to Mom and Sad?" Her answer? "You'll live with me, of course." That's all I needed to hear.
Jan being 10years older than me had kids way before I ever did. During my summers with her I learned how to be a mom. She was the "Koolaide mom", with dinner always set. I learned how to take of babies from her. Her kids were like my kids, and I had picture albums full of you kids!
She was very protective of each of you. She would never talk about things that were private. I asked her what she would like to say to her kids, she said to me "you tell them". It was just to hard for her at this point. I know she was so proud of each of you. She wanted you to walk with God, to understand the "Cross".
And of course she wanted you to be happy and to be taken care of. Though we could never fill her shoes, you have a lot of family here to make sure that happens!
I have the assurance we will be together again, Janet. Give mom and dad a hug for me... I'll forever miss you!
I'm Laurie, the baby of the family. Janet was the oldest of the us 7. She always doted that she raised me. Well...she kinda did. In pictures I was always on her lap or in her arms. My mom shipped me off every summer to her. At about 13 I remember one summer crying to her (I always thought I had such older parents), I asked her, "Where will I live if something happens to Mom and Sad?" Her answer? "You'll live with me, of course." That's all I needed to hear.
Jan being 10years older than me had kids way before I ever did. During my summers with her I learned how to be a mom. She was the "Koolaide mom", with dinner always set. I learned how to take of babies from her. Her kids were like my kids, and I had picture albums full of you kids!
She was very protective of each of you. She would never talk about things that were private. I asked her what she would like to say to her kids, she said to me "you tell them". It was just to hard for her at this point. I know she was so proud of each of you. She wanted you to walk with God, to understand the "Cross".
And of course she wanted you to be happy and to be taken care of. Though we could never fill her shoes, you have a lot of family here to make sure that happens!
I have the assurance we will be together again, Janet. Give mom and dad a hug for me... I'll forever miss you!
From Aunt Joanne...
Aunt Joanne Mieras is one of Mom's three sisters, the fourth of the seven Poulos kids. She shared this tribute at Mom's memorial last Saturday...
Doug and I, Sarah and Rebecca, and Doug’s children, would like to express our deepest condolences to Paul, his children and grandchildren, family and friends of Janet. I would like to express condolences from our family in NY, from Aunt Fran, Aunt Ona, Aunt Mel, Uncle Bob, and our many Legault cousins. Our cousin Susan expressed this also, and if you haven’t heard some funny stories of your mom when she visited Aunt Jackie and Mimi in Janet’s younger years, give her a call and she will fill you in! I also received a call from Sandy and Anthony Poulos, who wish to send their condolences and love to all the family. Sarah wished to see her Aunt Janet recently, and sends you her regrets and sadness. She wanted to be here.
When I think of my sister the words I use to describe her are friend, mother, helper, servant, encourager, and corrector. As my brother in law Steve said to me the other day, she executed her position as oldest in the family with ease. I would describe Janet as women of grace. She always wanted to lend a helping hand. She was there when you were sick, when you needed encouragement, when work needed to be done. She said to me, many times, “I just want you to be happy.” Her goal was to help you and to serve you, because she wanted to see you well and happy. I always hoped to be more like my sister as she cared for and helped others in so many countless ways without complaint. She enjoyed this. These were Janet’s talents which she shared with family and friends so graciously.
Janet was happiest when she prepared you a meal, or helped you paint a room. Whenever she visited you she would leave her loving touch. Her touch is all over my home in Schroon Lake, NY, and at 80 Hudson St. in South Glens Falls, New York were she had many childhood memories. Doug, Rebecca and I were so appreciative of her. Her touch is on the walls of my living room, which she painted when I was sick. It is the birch logs she put next to my fire place. Her touch was the placement of picture on the walls and the rearranging of furniture. These are just a few examples of Janet’s and love and care she demonstrated to me. She loved entertaining friends and family, and she loved to laugh with you and I loved to laugh with her. Janet felt a sense of being home in Glens Falls, NY and also in the mountains here in Boone, N.C.
Janet is at her final destination at her home in heaven, were all the saints of God reside. No more sickness, no more pain or sorrow. Jesus Christ the son of God understands our sorrows and grief. Jesus the son of God is acquainted with our sorrows and grief and loss. Because of Him we will be reunited with Janet in our heavenly dwelling. Janet I love you, the Lord be with you until we meet again.
Paul, Shannon, Casey, Jamie, and Paul Jr., we love you. Enjoy the Lord and His blessings until we meet again. Paul, thank you for your devotion to Janet and for sharing Janet with me on many occasions when she visited me. We love you. We all share in your sadness and great loss. Janet’s life has been and will always be a part of all of us who knew her and loved her. Janet you now graduated into glory.
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| Mom and her sisters, Laurie, Joanne and Carol... |
Doug and I, Sarah and Rebecca, and Doug’s children, would like to express our deepest condolences to Paul, his children and grandchildren, family and friends of Janet. I would like to express condolences from our family in NY, from Aunt Fran, Aunt Ona, Aunt Mel, Uncle Bob, and our many Legault cousins. Our cousin Susan expressed this also, and if you haven’t heard some funny stories of your mom when she visited Aunt Jackie and Mimi in Janet’s younger years, give her a call and she will fill you in! I also received a call from Sandy and Anthony Poulos, who wish to send their condolences and love to all the family. Sarah wished to see her Aunt Janet recently, and sends you her regrets and sadness. She wanted to be here.
When I think of my sister the words I use to describe her are friend, mother, helper, servant, encourager, and corrector. As my brother in law Steve said to me the other day, she executed her position as oldest in the family with ease. I would describe Janet as women of grace. She always wanted to lend a helping hand. She was there when you were sick, when you needed encouragement, when work needed to be done. She said to me, many times, “I just want you to be happy.” Her goal was to help you and to serve you, because she wanted to see you well and happy. I always hoped to be more like my sister as she cared for and helped others in so many countless ways without complaint. She enjoyed this. These were Janet’s talents which she shared with family and friends so graciously.
Janet was happiest when she prepared you a meal, or helped you paint a room. Whenever she visited you she would leave her loving touch. Her touch is all over my home in Schroon Lake, NY, and at 80 Hudson St. in South Glens Falls, New York were she had many childhood memories. Doug, Rebecca and I were so appreciative of her. Her touch is on the walls of my living room, which she painted when I was sick. It is the birch logs she put next to my fire place. Her touch was the placement of picture on the walls and the rearranging of furniture. These are just a few examples of Janet’s and love and care she demonstrated to me. She loved entertaining friends and family, and she loved to laugh with you and I loved to laugh with her. Janet felt a sense of being home in Glens Falls, NY and also in the mountains here in Boone, N.C.
Janet is at her final destination at her home in heaven, were all the saints of God reside. No more sickness, no more pain or sorrow. Jesus Christ the son of God understands our sorrows and grief. Jesus the son of God is acquainted with our sorrows and grief and loss. Because of Him we will be reunited with Janet in our heavenly dwelling. Janet I love you, the Lord be with you until we meet again.
Paul, Shannon, Casey, Jamie, and Paul Jr., we love you. Enjoy the Lord and His blessings until we meet again. Paul, thank you for your devotion to Janet and for sharing Janet with me on many occasions when she visited me. We love you. We all share in your sadness and great loss. Janet’s life has been and will always be a part of all of us who knew her and loved her. Janet you now graduated into glory.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
From Aunt Molly...
My Dad has only one sister, Molly Metzger Ferraro, yougest of seven with six older brothers. As you can imagine, she has some stories to tell! She told some at my mother's memorial on Saturday, sharing her heart about her sister Janet. Here is what she shared:
I’m Molly, better known as Paul’s sister. But I always thought of myself also, as Janet’s youngest sibling. Picture this, a young girl of 8yrs living in a home of brothers. When I first met Janet, she and Paul had come barreling through the front door of my parents home. They were soaking wet. They were supposed to have taken a walk on the boardwalk but wound up in the water. I remember looking up and seeing this tall, beautiful, long haired-model thin girl and I thought, wow, my brothers are finally good for something….female hormones in the house! Next I remember Paul telling us he was getting married and then more good news…babies. And it got better and better at each new baby announcement.
I don’t know how you all have so many memories of Janet because my mind is whirling in them. I remember I drove to Florida with Janet and Shannon and Casey were in the backseat with Wendell, the dog, in between. When the summer was over, I flew back to NY (Paul, I think you were moving back then) and I brought Casey on the plane with me. She was about 2 and I was 14 at the time. When I got off the plane, Memaw met me at the gate and a few passengers who were seated near me came up to her and said, “What a wonderful young mother she is”….”Janet”. Janet taught me to care like a mother.
Paul (jr), you said that you would ask your mom how she was feeling or what she was thinking and she would type out “I love you”. I know if it was me going through this I’d be having one big pity party. But she never complained. I tried to get her to share how she was feeling, but she would only text me the same, “I love you." One of her final gifts to me was on a recent visit. I asked her if I could give her a pedicure. When she let me, I washed her legs and feet, rubbed on lotion. I looked up at her and thanked her, for letting me do this for her. It meant so much to me.
So if you would indulge me, close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath in. Open your eyes. Do you smell it?....Janet is cooking in heaven. My mother has set the table, Dan has poured the wine, Mady is seated and waiting to be served, and Jim has tied her apron on...
I’m Molly, better known as Paul’s sister. But I always thought of myself also, as Janet’s youngest sibling. Picture this, a young girl of 8yrs living in a home of brothers. When I first met Janet, she and Paul had come barreling through the front door of my parents home. They were soaking wet. They were supposed to have taken a walk on the boardwalk but wound up in the water. I remember looking up and seeing this tall, beautiful, long haired-model thin girl and I thought, wow, my brothers are finally good for something….female hormones in the house! Next I remember Paul telling us he was getting married and then more good news…babies. And it got better and better at each new baby announcement.
I don’t know how you all have so many memories of Janet because my mind is whirling in them. I remember I drove to Florida with Janet and Shannon and Casey were in the backseat with Wendell, the dog, in between. When the summer was over, I flew back to NY (Paul, I think you were moving back then) and I brought Casey on the plane with me. She was about 2 and I was 14 at the time. When I got off the plane, Memaw met me at the gate and a few passengers who were seated near me came up to her and said, “What a wonderful young mother she is”….”Janet”. Janet taught me to care like a mother.
Paul (jr), you said that you would ask your mom how she was feeling or what she was thinking and she would type out “I love you”. I know if it was me going through this I’d be having one big pity party. But she never complained. I tried to get her to share how she was feeling, but she would only text me the same, “I love you." One of her final gifts to me was on a recent visit. I asked her if I could give her a pedicure. When she let me, I washed her legs and feet, rubbed on lotion. I looked up at her and thanked her, for letting me do this for her. It meant so much to me.
So if you would indulge me, close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath in. Open your eyes. Do you smell it?....Janet is cooking in heaven. My mother has set the table, Dan has poured the wine, Mady is seated and waiting to be served, and Jim has tied her apron on...
Monday, September 5, 2011
From Paul...
My brother Paul's words from Mom's memorial...
Thank you to everyone here, the amount of support and love we have received over the last week has been incredible, and is a testament to the strength of this family and the impact that my mother had on all of our lives.
Not everyone here got the chance to see how strong she was, and how hard she fought right until the end. I would always ask her how she was doing, and she would respond with a smile and a “thumbs up”. And I would push her and say, “But no mom, how are you really, how are you doing with all of this? What are you thinking, how are you feeling?” She had lost her ability to speak, so she would smile and pick up her iPad, turn it on and begin typing. I’d sit in anticipation wondering what was going to come out, curious how she was and waiting for those answers. She would look up with a huge smile on her face and turn the iPad around, and all it would say was, “I love you”.
I would wonder at times why she wouldn’t say more, how she could seem to be so ok with everything going on. Wouldn’t she want to impart something or express something more. I spoke to my sister Shannon about it a few weeks ago, and Shannon said it was not the way our mother expressed her love to us, she loved us by serving. Selfless and with a whole heart, without the need or desire for anything in return, she lived her life serving and loving each and every one of us. In fact, I think the hardest part for her through all of this wasn’t losing her speech, or ability to move, or even cook, I think it was losing the ability to serve us. I think anyone here who was lucky enough to know her and had the pleasure of spending time with her, can attest to that. My dad told me that we kids are her legacy. And while that is true, I would say that anyone who knew her and saw that love, carries a piece of her legacy.
But she was strong and courageous all the way to the end. At no point over the last several weeks did I see anything that expressed fear, or worry, or doubt. Her hope and her faith were unwavering, and it is a testament to the woman she was and the God she served. Make no mistake, her faith is rewarded, she is neither sick nor suffering. She is whole again, and she is home. And I think if we could ask her right now, “Mom, how are you?”, she would look down and say, “I love you”.
Thank you to everyone here, the amount of support and love we have received over the last week has been incredible, and is a testament to the strength of this family and the impact that my mother had on all of our lives.
Not everyone here got the chance to see how strong she was, and how hard she fought right until the end. I would always ask her how she was doing, and she would respond with a smile and a “thumbs up”. And I would push her and say, “But no mom, how are you really, how are you doing with all of this? What are you thinking, how are you feeling?” She had lost her ability to speak, so she would smile and pick up her iPad, turn it on and begin typing. I’d sit in anticipation wondering what was going to come out, curious how she was and waiting for those answers. She would look up with a huge smile on her face and turn the iPad around, and all it would say was, “I love you”.
I would wonder at times why she wouldn’t say more, how she could seem to be so ok with everything going on. Wouldn’t she want to impart something or express something more. I spoke to my sister Shannon about it a few weeks ago, and Shannon said it was not the way our mother expressed her love to us, she loved us by serving. Selfless and with a whole heart, without the need or desire for anything in return, she lived her life serving and loving each and every one of us. In fact, I think the hardest part for her through all of this wasn’t losing her speech, or ability to move, or even cook, I think it was losing the ability to serve us. I think anyone here who was lucky enough to know her and had the pleasure of spending time with her, can attest to that. My dad told me that we kids are her legacy. And while that is true, I would say that anyone who knew her and saw that love, carries a piece of her legacy.
But she was strong and courageous all the way to the end. At no point over the last several weeks did I see anything that expressed fear, or worry, or doubt. Her hope and her faith were unwavering, and it is a testament to the woman she was and the God she served. Make no mistake, her faith is rewarded, she is neither sick nor suffering. She is whole again, and she is home. And I think if we could ask her right now, “Mom, how are you?”, she would look down and say, “I love you”.
From Jamie...
Jamie's words from Mom's memorial...
We are all here because my mom was here for all of us. She always put everyone first, especially her kids. There wasn't a time that she was not by my side. As you all know in my childhood, I went through lets just say a series of unfortunate events...my mom took care of me in a way no one else could...and just recently I saw someone that could, and that someone is my dad. He took care of my mom with the same love my mom had for all of us. He is amazing.
My mom was superwoman. She could whip up a meal, do your laundry, paint your living room, and feed your kids all in about an hour...not to mention your furniture was never in the same place again. I would ask her to stop but we all know she wouldn't, she couldn't. She was determined like no other...all the way till the end.
I pray that this happened to my mom to teach us how to care for and love someone the way she has cared for and loved us her entire life. I have learned what is important and what is important is sitting in this room with me today. Thank you all for being here.
A friend of mine father passed away from ALS some years ago...she did not have much to offer me except to say that although it doesn't seem possible, for her family good things did come out of their journey. I am not sure I can see all those good things right now, but I do know that for the past couple years I have built some amazing relationships with many of you in this room. God knew what he was doing and did not want me to feel alone.
I am so grateful for the time spent with my mom. She was with me during her own fight for the birth of my son Declan. What a perfect year to be born. Again, God knew what he was doing and gave him to all of us and my mom at the right time.
My mom will always be with me as I hear her all the time now and her voice is beautiful.
I leave you with a poem that a friend just shared with me:
God saw she was getting tired
A cure was not to be
So he put her arms around her and
Whispered come with me
With tear filled eyes we watched angels carry her away
Although we loved her deeply
We couldn't make her stay
A golden heart stopped beating
Hard working hands put to rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best
I love you Mom
Jamie Rhatigan September 3, 2011
We are all here because my mom was here for all of us. She always put everyone first, especially her kids. There wasn't a time that she was not by my side. As you all know in my childhood, I went through lets just say a series of unfortunate events...my mom took care of me in a way no one else could...and just recently I saw someone that could, and that someone is my dad. He took care of my mom with the same love my mom had for all of us. He is amazing.
My mom was superwoman. She could whip up a meal, do your laundry, paint your living room, and feed your kids all in about an hour...not to mention your furniture was never in the same place again. I would ask her to stop but we all know she wouldn't, she couldn't. She was determined like no other...all the way till the end.
I pray that this happened to my mom to teach us how to care for and love someone the way she has cared for and loved us her entire life. I have learned what is important and what is important is sitting in this room with me today. Thank you all for being here.
A friend of mine father passed away from ALS some years ago...she did not have much to offer me except to say that although it doesn't seem possible, for her family good things did come out of their journey. I am not sure I can see all those good things right now, but I do know that for the past couple years I have built some amazing relationships with many of you in this room. God knew what he was doing and did not want me to feel alone.
I am so grateful for the time spent with my mom. She was with me during her own fight for the birth of my son Declan. What a perfect year to be born. Again, God knew what he was doing and gave him to all of us and my mom at the right time.
My mom will always be with me as I hear her all the time now and her voice is beautiful.
I leave you with a poem that a friend just shared with me:
God saw she was getting tired
A cure was not to be
So he put her arms around her and
Whispered come with me
With tear filled eyes we watched angels carry her away
Although we loved her deeply
We couldn't make her stay
A golden heart stopped beating
Hard working hands put to rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best
I love you Mom
Jamie Rhatigan September 3, 2011
From Casey....
This is what Casey shared at Mom's memorial, right before squares of Spinach Pie, made by the three of us, Carol and Laurie, were passed by friends to everyone in the church. It was a fitting tribute, and for a moment, it smelled like Mom's kitchen...
My Mom had the most beautiful hands
Graceful and lovely
She could swaddle and bathe a newborn baby with great ease
Paint a room with expert precision
Clean and and organize a home (all our homes) effortlessly
Hug and caress through smiles or tears with great sincerity
And she could cook
Her cooking abilities are unmatched as much as we all tried
She always had the right balance of herbs and seasoning
Decadent yet restrained
It was an art, her art
She shared it with us all and we were her dutiful pupils
Her hands were so capable, so talented and so comforting
And in her last moments on this earth,
Holding those hands were the most peaceful moments of my life...
In celebration of her gift,
We want to share with you all her signature dish:
Spinach Pie
Casey Tierney...September 3, 2011
My Mom had the most beautiful hands
Graceful and lovely
She could swaddle and bathe a newborn baby with great ease
Paint a room with expert precision
Clean and and organize a home (all our homes) effortlessly
Hug and caress through smiles or tears with great sincerity
And she could cook
Her cooking abilities are unmatched as much as we all tried
She always had the right balance of herbs and seasoning
Decadent yet restrained
It was an art, her art
She shared it with us all and we were her dutiful pupils
Her hands were so capable, so talented and so comforting
And in her last moments on this earth,
Holding those hands were the most peaceful moments of my life...
In celebration of her gift,
We want to share with you all her signature dish:
Spinach Pie
Casey Tierney...September 3, 2011
Mom's Memorial...
A memorial service was held for my mother on Saturday. It was really a special time, a beautiful tribute to her. My father wanted a time where we could all share about Mom, and many of us did including the four of us kids, most of mom's siblings, and my dad's only sister Molly, a sister to mom just as much as Jo, Laurie and Carol are. We came across Mom's signature recipe, Spanakopita (Greek Spinach Pie) written in Mom's handwriting, and we made copies of it to be passed out with the program. Casey, Jamie, Laurie, Carol and I all made trays of it, and we had it passed out on plates after Casey shared about mom's cooking. The whole church smelled like dill and feta! It was a really lovely tribute, and so "Mom"! I'm going to try to gather everyone's words and share them with you here...For now, here is what I said:
I'd like to start by thanking my dad. So many of us made vows when we were young, vows that we meant with all of our heart without fully understanding what they meant, without really knowing what it might look like to live up to them. My dad showed us through 40 years of marriage, and especially in the last two years, exactly what it means, exactly what it looks like, to love honor and cherish someone, in sickness and it health, till death do us part. Thank you dad, for being that example to all of us who watched you live it out.
My mother getting this disease was full of irony. Ironic that she would develop a disease named for the Pride of the Yankees, my dad being the lifelong, die hard Yankees fan that he is. Though don't we all wish Lou Gehrig were remembered only for being a great ball player and not for this awful disease that took him and my mother way too soon.
Ironic that my mother who always walked so fast would lose her ability to walk at all. She would always leave us in her dust! I remember being a little girl and having to run to keep up with her. I catch my kids having to run to keep up with me too sometimes, and my husband will see it and tell me "Slow down Janet!" It was so hard to watch her go from a limp to a cane to a walker to a bed.
My mother was the consummate care giver. When one of us had a baby or had surgery or moved into a new house, my mother would come and take care of us. She would come in like a hurricane and take over, painting, cooking, cleaning, rearranging furniture, folding laundry, bathing kids, you name it. I remember her doing it at Jamie and Brian's when they were first married and my husband Rob advised Brian, "Just stay out of her way and do what she says." I think Brian had already learned it the hard way. She wasn't very physically or verbally affectionate with us. Her affection came through her feet and her hands, sadly ironic that she would lose them.
We all know how my mother cooked. There's not much I need to say on the subject because we all experienced it. She would take a plain old chicken and some vegetables and turn it into something amazing. She cooked everything so effortlessly and perfectly and she taught us all everything we know about cooking and entertaining. Ironic that this woman who knew and loved food so well could no longer cook, and no longer eat.
But the ultimate irony is not a tragic one, it's a glorious one. The ultimate irony here is that through this awful, devastating disease, my mother has been made whole. That through her death, she is now eternally alive. And despite our sadness here on earth, my mother, through her faith in Jesus Christ is now in heaven and is happy. In Revelation 21 we get a little glimpse of our future hope, and my mother's new home. It says:
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying "Behold the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away." And he who was seated on the throne said "Behold, I am making all things new."
My mother has been made new today, and she is in paradise, and I can't wait to see her there.
by Shannon-September 3, 2011
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